Dollars earned donating plasma: 20 (factors: first donation of the week, 169 lbs)
Time spent donating plasma: 90 minutes
Time driving through Lawrence: 3 or 4 hours. Seriously. People in Lawrence, KS drive like their emergency break is locked in. Maybe I got stuck in a parade that nobody was watching. Or funeral procession. Both would explain that giant Snoopy balloon.
Number of parking spots: 35-45.
Number of cars that can reasonably park there: 20. Every single spot is marked "for compact cars," but since most people donating plasma can't afford Smartcars or even Geo's, that's asking a bit much. Perhaps the line painter assumed in five years everybody will be driving mopeds or Segways. Bust.
Number of people there who I assume consider themselves "professional plasma donating person": How many people were there total? Nobody was dressed to impress and a few weren't properly dressed at all. Come on people, it's November, and if it wasn't, you still need to wear more than an orange-stained tank top. Certainly gives People of Wal-Mart a run for it's money...if there was money at stake.
Number of CSI episodes watched: 2
Number of times characters said "semen": 38
Number of times I laughed at the word "semen": 37
Most terrifying thing I heard from an employee while sticking a patient: "Turtle's my favorite character. He just chills out and gets high. I'm so jealous of him!"
Number of times I've donated plasma this month: 1
Number of times I've compared it to anonymous prostitution: 3 (including this)
Likelihood that I'll spend the money on a book: 4:1
Likelihood that I'll not remember where I spent the money in a month: 1:1
On a scale of one to "Jaime Pressly," how trashy did I feel: Maybe a 6. So noticeably annoying but tolerable to some. Right around the "Prince of Persia" level, I suppose.
Times I considered the money insufficient compensation for my personal well-being: 100
Times I considered the money sufficient: 101
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