http://www.avatarmovie.com/
In response to such creative laziness and technical over-achieving, I've decided to write my own preview for a forth-coming blockbuster. It goes like this:
“You Jake Scully? I’d like to talk to you about a fresh start, at a new studio. You’d be making a difference.”
“I became a producer for the hardship. I told myself I can make any story any man can. All I ever wanted was a single thing worth writing for.”
“Ladies and gentleman, you are not on a set anymore. You are in Pandora.”
“You should see your faces.”
“We have an ingenious population called the Artists. They are very hard to teach.”
“This is why we are here. Because this little gray movie could sell for 20 million a theater.”
“Their film so happens to be in the richest theater and they need to relocate.”
“Those crazies are threatening our whole operation. We are the brink of losing money and you’re supposed to be finding a ridiculous solution!”
“The concept is to drive these remotely controlled bodies called Avant-Gardes. They are grown from combining good ideas with science fiction mumbo-jumbo.”
“An idiot in an Avant-Garde body. That’s a worthless mix.”
“You get me what I need and I’ll see to it that you get your McGuffin. Your real McGuffin.”
“Hell yeah, dude.”
“Looks like you.”
“This is your Avant-Garde.”
“Just relax and let your mind go blank. Shouldn’t be hard for you.”
“Too easy!”
“Jake. It’s real simple. I want you to learn from the inside. I want you to gain their trust.”
“You should not be here. Go back!”
“I speak English broken.”
“You’re hired.”
“Haven’t got lost in the art gallery, have you?”
“You forget what demographic you’re playing to?”
“The strong push around the weak and everybody makes a movie about it.”
“You got probably two and half hours, maybe three.”
“You knew this would happen?”
“Everything changed with 3-D.”
“Jake it’s crazy here. Cameron is filming and there’s no stopping him!”
“You’re going up against special effects with wit and originality.”
“Nonsensical response.”
“They sent us a message: That they can make whatever they want. But we will send them a message back: That is our time!”
“We’re cheering!”
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This is probably the best, most original movie review you've done yet (which is hard to do for a review--- they're all the same in purpose, and so usually adopt a uniform format). I particularly enjoyed "You're going up against special effects with wit and originality." & "Nonsensical response." Excellent. You may have pioneered a new structure for movie criticism--- one that is funny and engaging. Well done.
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