Dear You

Dear You,

For a long time I felt like I was the star of my own life, but recently I’ve realized I am actually just a side character. Think about it, every major event in my life has involved You on some level. So I guess this is just me accepting my role and asking to play a bigger part. I think I can bring a lot of new elements to Your life and, by proxy, give myself much-needed depth.

It feels like yesterday that I came into Your life. Obviously it wasn’t real early in Your life, You have a whole life before meeting me. There are elements and histories of You that I could never possibly know; and You couldn’t just tell me a bunch of stories either, of course. There are other characters in Your life I just wouldn’t understand. And that’s okay, I don’t want to be Your equal, Your life isn’t an ensemble cast. You are the one narrating. All of Your life’s adventures are about You and what You learn from them. If I tell You a story about me, it’s only meant to teach You something, if not right away, then it must be foreshadowing. Or just a time-filler. You probably suffer through a lot of time-filler.

I suppose that’s the benefit to being a side character. I don’t have any filler because You know all about me. Sometimes You even think I’m a stereotype. Maybe not a stereotype You can name, but I definitely give You a “been there, done that” feeling sometimes, and for that I apologize.

Now this may get a little confusing, but stick with me; I don’t know how I’m feeling, only You do. You know what I’m going through. Maybe not the specifics, but the uncertainty. Of course You know that feeling. In fact, You’re probably feeling it worse—though nobody will ever know because it's just too complex to put into words, unlike my feelings.

I tried to be a part of Your life before. I sat next to You in class for a couple of weeks. I drew doodles of Godzilla fighting elephants on my notes; that was a good dose of comic relief. But apparently I was too flat or just didn’t “look the part” and so I lost my very small role in Your life. There was that time I made a couple of quips while riding the bus. Alone that didn’t mean anything, but it provided an example for the motif of weird people talking to You through Your life. I was Your friend once and again. We had some good moments but they were shallow, mindless entertainment. Maybe we'll have more.

I am a vestige of Your memory. I am a character yet to enter Your life. I am that character who has been around for a while and probably will be for some time. I jump in and out of Your life. Daily, weekly, monthly, annually. You learn about my life because it teaches You something about Yours. I entertain You. I make You think. I make You cry. I could say You do the same for me, but only as much as You know You do. That time I was angry? You knew what I was going through. When I was heart-broken, lonely, or proud; embarrassed, jealous and sick. You’ve been there. In many cases, You were physically there and can remember all the times I’ve been through all that. And all the other times, You heard about me through another side character.

Even if I would deny it, I do think about You all the time. Not in a creepy or obsessed way, but just in a general interest way. You are interesting. You are unlike anybody I know…which is exactly the same people You know (minus the people I don’t know, of course). You have changed my life. Hell, if You didn’t know me, I wouldn’t even have a life. You are so interesting, I want a promotion in Your life.

I don’t know how well You know “The Simpsons,” but it’s part of my character to be a huge Simpsons nerd. That said, I don’t want to be a Wendell anymore, I want to be a Milhouse. I don’t want to be a drone in Sector 6-G, I want to be Lenny or Carl. I don’t want to be Asa, Griff, Etch or Ox, I want to be Grandpa Simpson. I can add a new layer and dimension to Your life. We can go on adventures together. Again, I don’t need to be there every week, but I just don't want to be a "callback."

So I’ll let You think about this, as You must. But maybe that’ll mean I can come back in Your life, come into Your life for the first time or take on a bigger role. And that’s really what this is all about: You. You don’t want to think this blog entry is about You because surely I know other people and You are afraid of being narcissistic. But have no fear, this time Your self-centered tendencies are serving You correctly, I am talking to You and I wrote this so You would think about Your feelings toward me and Your feelings toward other people in Your life whom I do not know. And if after all this reassurance, You are still unconvinced I am talking to You, just call me, send me an email or ask next time You see me. Because I am so sure You have correctly figured out this is about You, I will promise I will confirm Your hope, fear and belief of such.

Thank You.