Lighting a Fire Under HBO

Somebody apparently lit a fire under an HBO executive to come up with some arguably original, award-winning, budget-busting new series because next season HBO will premiere its craftiest show ever: SALEM.

SALEM will chronicle the the period of witch trials in colonial Massachusetts, in which 150 people were imprisoned and 20 were publicly executed--promising a devilishly good time. The story lines will followed the judiciary and political intrigue that went along with the trials and also follow the specific lives of many characters affected--some based on real people and others acting as compilations of townspeople at the time, according to the best historical records.

With so many possibilities, this series isn't being watched just by the eye of newt, but the eyes of critics everywhere. This period piece story, like most HBO series, required a production budget far greater than most networks shill out for such a witch pitch as an entire Salem village has been reconstructed as it was some 400 years ago. No black magic here, just $80 million.

The series will mostly follow accused witches (such as Sarah Good, Sarah Osbourne, Tituba, etc) and the people accusing them (such as John Hawthorne, Johnathan Corwin, etc). The series creators want to depict life as it actually was, including the sexual promiscuity in the town, while adding touches of dramatic liberties--such as adding romantic relationships among the more fictional characters.

The show may also undergo certain creative changes in the first season as the producers go through their own trial by fire. Undoubtedly though SALEM will develop a following of loyal viewers made up of some frustrated historians but mostly just of rich people curious about how much sex was going on in SALEM at the time of the trials.

Producer Gilbert Wilson has already said that SALEM will not adhere to modern television audience sensibilities and depict the town as historically accurate as possibly, no matter how much sex everyone was having. Wilson is physically excited himself for the upcoming show as premium channel audiences have gotten into bed with other sex-filled period pieces. Many critics credit the genre's popularity to their ability to be historically accurate, a budgetary and rating-restricted impossibly on network and even cable television.

"It's really amazing how much sex people had during these time periods," said television critic Burt Lippentoncott, "I mean, damn, they were at it all the time; at least according to these well-produced shows. I guess they just had more time back then to have sex, nowadays we have a bunch of shows to watch. Personally, I even blame television for killing my wife's libido--all we do in bed anymore is watch shows about other people having sex. That reminds me, The Tudors is on tonight!"

Call me a liar with my pants on fire, but I believe HBO's got another winner under its belt with this witchin' good series about smart political intrigue, well-developed characters and historically accurate, uncensored romantic entanglements.