NFL Predictions: Week Eight

Okay, so I kind of blew it last week. Whatever. If you lost money taking my advice you deserved it. Anyway, let’s try this again.

St. Louis at Detroit (-)
Two teams with a combined record of 1-12. Generally speaking, the home team gets a 3-point bump, but if the even odds stick through the weekend, that must mean nobody thinks anybody is going to show up. St. Louis, though, somehow, still has an easier game coming up in Week 14 when they play the winless Tennessee Titans. This isn’t a toss up game, though. The Lions have had a considerably harder schedule and hung around most of their games--unlike the Rams who couldn’t drive a Durango 80 yards. (Seriously, 60 points in seven games?!) Add in the Lions bye-week advantage and this just might be one of the safer bets this weekend. Detroit wins and there’s no reason to think the Lions won’t try to take out two years of impotent frustration on the Rams during the second half.

Minnesota at Green Bay (-3.5)
If the Superbowl was played between a team of giant squids and the 82nd Airborne division, this would still probably be the most hyped game of the season (though it would be close). With the average age of a Green Bay Packer being 25.7 years and Brett Favre not a day under 63, there really isn’t any personal vendettas here though. Minus the quarterbacks and Minnesota wins. Add in the quarterbacks, Minnesota still wins. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a believer in Favre’s Viagra-assisted viability for the entire season, but it’s still to early for his arm to get sore from handing the ball to Adrian Peterson. Vikings cover and Green Bay gets over it. God I hope nobody actually named their kid “Brett” because of this man.

Denver at Baltimore (-3.5)
Both teams had last week off, meaning Baltimore should have had time to stop their bleeding after three straight losses. Conversely, Denver’s had time to cool down after hot wins against Dallas, New England and San Diego. I can’t see Denver going undefeated, so they have to be at the sucker end of an upset sometime. This year, Baltimore is as sure to lose in a game of luck as Denver is to win, so this game better not come down to the last thirty seconds, because quoth the Raven, "I will never score"…that was awful, I apologize. For real, the Ravens consistently put up bigger points and are playing with a gun to their head (two games behind Cincinnati and Pittsburgh in their division). Ravens defense wins the game.

New York (Giants) at Philadelphia (+1.5)
The Giants have dropped their last two and did so with as little dignity as possible. They got throttled by New Orleans and lost convincingly, at home, against the wily Cardinals. The Eagles, though have stumbled into a 4-2 record almost by accident. Philadelphia doesn't have the personnel problems the Cardinals do, so they'll stick to the basic defensive strategies Eli Manning can handle. Meanwhile Andy Reid will flush half a dozen offensive plays down the toilet by putting in Michael Vick, which teams might not even being preparing for anymore. If the Giants lose here, they have serious problems. Luckily they don't: Giants win.