"I hate being credited with shitty quotes that I never actually said." - Winston Churchill.
She pointed out that Roland had several colorful bracelets. It was the first time since Roland sat down that she attempted to engage him in conversation. Roland considered pointing this out but then thoughts that'd be rude; he was trying to fight the rude habit of challenging people with sharp, specific and blunt observations. While he was successfully fending off the habit, he was not making any new friends.
Roland liked doing things, but he like doing things better with people he liked. For reasons Roland could never figure out though, the fun things he liked did not help him meet people.
Last week Roland went bowling. He didn't go with anybody because he didn't have anybody to go with. Roland was convinced that he could make a friend there though because they would have at least one interest in common. And while no one will admit they don't want to make friends, no one wanted to make friends with Roland at the bowling alley. It was weird.
Roland wasn't funny to anybody but Roland. His jokes were dry, quietly delivered and mildly obscure.
Did Roland want a best friend? A drinking buddy? A partner-in-crime? A girlfriend? Some casual sex? Roland wanted everything and more. He wanted any kind of human connection in his cosmically ambivalent life. Also, he wanted a drink. They don't have drinks at the bowling alley so Roland went to a coffee shop to get an ice-blend-moca-latte-capa-hazel-whatever.
Twenty minutes later he couldn't remember her name. Maybe it was Maddy. Or Tonya. Jesse? Either way, Roland snapped out of his internal monologue and realized this here girl had vocalized an observation herself.
And it was true. Months ago, Roland discovered a start-up company that sold colorful bracelets. Each color represented a different intention, but unlike the LiveStrong bracelets, these did little to cure cancer. Red meant the wearer was looking for love. Blue was friendship. Green was excitement. Purple was...well...Roland couldn't remember what purple stood for, but he was looking for it.
Problem was that everyone, save Roland, would be more willing to wear a Brett Favre jersey in Green Bay than make their social ambitions so transparent. Bigger problem was that Susie Q. was heading to the door because she had more important nonsense to tend to than to act like Roland was worth a second glance. Biggest problem: Susie Q. wasn't even her real name.
Two minutes later Roland threw his cheap $6 drink into the trash.
"Fuck you." - President Calvin Coolidge responding to a bet that he couldn't say more than two words.
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friend acid test:
ReplyDelete-laugh at something sincerely, once or multiple times.
if they laugh as well or at least find it funny, you got a friend!
if they stare, pause, weakly smile, or look uncomfortable, you can still roll with them, but chances are they never reach past the level of acquiantance or colleague.
note: if you both laugh but for different reasons, then it's all up in the air.