All I did was make change with a certain tip jar.
Now I'm no longer welcome at a certain hip bar.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The Time Has Come
What does the recent blockbuster disaster film "2012" say about universal health care?
To no great surprise this movie about finality, futility and impeding doom includes a ludicrous, fantastical and contrived glimmer of hope. I suppose audiences only care about survivors. And these survivors earn their salvation by getting aboard a giant boat when the world is flooding. If some are unsure of the Biblical imagery, it is made more clear with the saving of two giraffes, elephants, rhinos, etc. and a boy named Noah. While this is no Shaggy God story, it does throw the (astute) viewer through a loop as the Arcs do not seat 6.7 billion people. This means that saving animals destined to die is more important than any number of human lives. I find this a pretty hard argument to make, especially when the animals were clearly chosen (by director Roland Emmerich) for their exotic nature rather than any practical motive--ex. saving cattle, pigs, or chickens for a new farming society.
Around this unexamined point, the city-sinking movie runs with its--criminally overlooked--commentary on modern society. Should the species-saving vessels allow more passengers at the cost of endangering everyone, including the ones already "saved"? The universal health care debate asks variations of this same question. If the government lets everyone fight for their own benefit, there will be losers. But is that more fair than artificially leveling the playing field? Millions in America are essentially saved (read: insured) but would be required to pay taxes for those millions who are not insured.
This comes up more specifically in the movie when Chiwetel Ejiofor has his high-minded moralizing thrown back in his face. Ejiofor demands the government save more citizens yet does not give up his own life-saving boat ticket to any blue-collar Chinese worker. Ejiofor is one of the lucky saved and wants to save others but not at the risk of making a personal sacrifice. The same can be said for the highest salary earners in America. They are the ones already insured, yet they'd be the ones footing the majority of any universal system. Personally I'm a believer that it's still beneficial for the richest Americans to help the poorest in any fashion, as I'd pay taxes for a fire department I never need because it doesn't help me to have my neighbor's house burn down.
The movie seems to take a similar stance. Toward the end, John Cusack--and Cusack alone--takes responsibility for his selfish actions that inadvertently endangered the lives of thousands (allegory continued: funding a capitalist health care system). However his persistent nobility is undercut by the realization that he only risks his life to help others when his own life is in danger likewise. Cusack was not safe when he risked all he had. In fact, he is doomed to die with everyone else whether or not he tries to help the situation--it's no real spoiler to say that he does.
Unlike Ejiofor, Cusack was in a position wherein he had nothing to gain by doing nothing and so acted "heroically." Undoubtedly, this is what Emmerich had in mind during the Vatican-crushing, hotel-crumbling, Yellowstone-erupting motion picture; that is, universal health care will only come when, and if, those who have the power feel like they have something personally at stake in the well being of others. In that vein, perhaps the prophecies of "2012" will ring true; whether that means universal health care will save humanity, sun-launched neutrinos will doom humanity, or some unholy combination of both, I can not say, but it is fun to ponder.
To no great surprise this movie about finality, futility and impeding doom includes a ludicrous, fantastical and contrived glimmer of hope. I suppose audiences only care about survivors. And these survivors earn their salvation by getting aboard a giant boat when the world is flooding. If some are unsure of the Biblical imagery, it is made more clear with the saving of two giraffes, elephants, rhinos, etc. and a boy named Noah. While this is no Shaggy God story, it does throw the (astute) viewer through a loop as the Arcs do not seat 6.7 billion people. This means that saving animals destined to die is more important than any number of human lives. I find this a pretty hard argument to make, especially when the animals were clearly chosen (by director Roland Emmerich) for their exotic nature rather than any practical motive--ex. saving cattle, pigs, or chickens for a new farming society.
Around this unexamined point, the city-sinking movie runs with its--criminally overlooked--commentary on modern society. Should the species-saving vessels allow more passengers at the cost of endangering everyone, including the ones already "saved"? The universal health care debate asks variations of this same question. If the government lets everyone fight for their own benefit, there will be losers. But is that more fair than artificially leveling the playing field? Millions in America are essentially saved (read: insured) but would be required to pay taxes for those millions who are not insured.
This comes up more specifically in the movie when Chiwetel Ejiofor has his high-minded moralizing thrown back in his face. Ejiofor demands the government save more citizens yet does not give up his own life-saving boat ticket to any blue-collar Chinese worker. Ejiofor is one of the lucky saved and wants to save others but not at the risk of making a personal sacrifice. The same can be said for the highest salary earners in America. They are the ones already insured, yet they'd be the ones footing the majority of any universal system. Personally I'm a believer that it's still beneficial for the richest Americans to help the poorest in any fashion, as I'd pay taxes for a fire department I never need because it doesn't help me to have my neighbor's house burn down.
The movie seems to take a similar stance. Toward the end, John Cusack--and Cusack alone--takes responsibility for his selfish actions that inadvertently endangered the lives of thousands (allegory continued: funding a capitalist health care system). However his persistent nobility is undercut by the realization that he only risks his life to help others when his own life is in danger likewise. Cusack was not safe when he risked all he had. In fact, he is doomed to die with everyone else whether or not he tries to help the situation--it's no real spoiler to say that he does.
Unlike Ejiofor, Cusack was in a position wherein he had nothing to gain by doing nothing and so acted "heroically." Undoubtedly, this is what Emmerich had in mind during the Vatican-crushing, hotel-crumbling, Yellowstone-erupting motion picture; that is, universal health care will only come when, and if, those who have the power feel like they have something personally at stake in the well being of others. In that vein, perhaps the prophecies of "2012" will ring true; whether that means universal health care will save humanity, sun-launched neutrinos will doom humanity, or some unholy combination of both, I can not say, but it is fun to ponder.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Hyenas
Twenty minutes of silent driving past since Eddie picked Bobby C up from the airport. To Eddie's ten o'clock, the sun was getting ready for its daily plunge into the cold, distant horizon. The sun was about 3 fingers above the ground: 45 minutes of daylight. The city of Somewhere, Kansas was about 50 more miles. They'd be home before nightfall. Eddie knew this and assumed Bobby C did as well.
The radio wasn't on and several of the dashboard labels were worn down to incomprehensible smudges, but Eddie knew what everything did and knew what worked and didn't. Bobby C didn't have much baggage in Eddie's car, but Eddie had a lot of his own baggage in the backseat, where it was yesterday, last week and last month. The car also had a cruise control feature that required a trick with the buttons--so in a way it worked, but only for Eddie.
Some parts of Kansas look like how non-Kansans would expect Kansas to look. Other parts of Kansas don't look like Kansas. In the early winter the hills are covered with rough, patchy field grass. Brown, tan and sometimes with a tint of red thanks to a lowering sun. The fields were sleeping hyenas and breathed in a subtle unison with Eddie.
Bobby C had a scar above his left eyebrow and a matching one on his left cheek. Eddie didn't know what had happened but also knew fifty people would ask Bobby C within his first day of being back in town so it didn't seem worth it to have Bobby C tell the origin story 51 times. Eddie assumed Bobby C had lots of things to talk to lots of people about.
Bobby C was wearing dark sunglasses so Eddie wasn't even fully convinced his oldest friend was even awake until Bobby C read a text message. Bobby C gave no reaction to the message and didn't respond back. Eddie didn't know who sent the message nor what it said, but knew it was somebody who respected Bobby C's musical ability and had no reason to ever have heard of Eddie.
Eddie knew Bobby C could do and had done anything Eddie could or had done--plus more. It was just a matter of time before Bobby C would be discovered talented. Eddie hadn't even discovered his own talent yet. Neither had become nationally famous, but Eddie hadn't even become famous within the city he had known for 20 years and performed in for 10.
Eddie kept his soft eyes forward. Bobby C kept his head tilted to his window. The mini-hills and valleys contained scattered naked trees. They drove past an old gas station that had been abandoned years ago. Some of the boards over the windows were covered with graffiti, others had been stripped away for interior access. Shingles were missing and most paint had been weathered off. The building was still standing but the inside had been hallowed out. Weeds and stray grass grew along the edges and where gas pumps once stood. Cracks in the parking lot pavement spoke volumes about the decaying roadside monument.
The radio wasn't on and several of the dashboard labels were worn down to incomprehensible smudges, but Eddie knew what everything did and knew what worked and didn't. Bobby C didn't have much baggage in Eddie's car, but Eddie had a lot of his own baggage in the backseat, where it was yesterday, last week and last month. The car also had a cruise control feature that required a trick with the buttons--so in a way it worked, but only for Eddie.
Some parts of Kansas look like how non-Kansans would expect Kansas to look. Other parts of Kansas don't look like Kansas. In the early winter the hills are covered with rough, patchy field grass. Brown, tan and sometimes with a tint of red thanks to a lowering sun. The fields were sleeping hyenas and breathed in a subtle unison with Eddie.
Bobby C had a scar above his left eyebrow and a matching one on his left cheek. Eddie didn't know what had happened but also knew fifty people would ask Bobby C within his first day of being back in town so it didn't seem worth it to have Bobby C tell the origin story 51 times. Eddie assumed Bobby C had lots of things to talk to lots of people about.
Bobby C was wearing dark sunglasses so Eddie wasn't even fully convinced his oldest friend was even awake until Bobby C read a text message. Bobby C gave no reaction to the message and didn't respond back. Eddie didn't know who sent the message nor what it said, but knew it was somebody who respected Bobby C's musical ability and had no reason to ever have heard of Eddie.
Eddie knew Bobby C could do and had done anything Eddie could or had done--plus more. It was just a matter of time before Bobby C would be discovered talented. Eddie hadn't even discovered his own talent yet. Neither had become nationally famous, but Eddie hadn't even become famous within the city he had known for 20 years and performed in for 10.
Eddie kept his soft eyes forward. Bobby C kept his head tilted to his window. The mini-hills and valleys contained scattered naked trees. They drove past an old gas station that had been abandoned years ago. Some of the boards over the windows were covered with graffiti, others had been stripped away for interior access. Shingles were missing and most paint had been weathered off. The building was still standing but the inside had been hallowed out. Weeds and stray grass grew along the edges and where gas pumps once stood. Cracks in the parking lot pavement spoke volumes about the decaying roadside monument.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Numbers and Plasma: Nick's Bloody Equations
Dollars earned donating plasma: 20 (factors: first donation of the week, 169 lbs)
Time spent donating plasma: 90 minutes
Time driving through Lawrence: 3 or 4 hours. Seriously. People in Lawrence, KS drive like their emergency break is locked in. Maybe I got stuck in a parade that nobody was watching. Or funeral procession. Both would explain that giant Snoopy balloon.
Number of parking spots: 35-45.
Number of cars that can reasonably park there: 20. Every single spot is marked "for compact cars," but since most people donating plasma can't afford Smartcars or even Geo's, that's asking a bit much. Perhaps the line painter assumed in five years everybody will be driving mopeds or Segways. Bust.
Number of people there who I assume consider themselves "professional plasma donating person": How many people were there total? Nobody was dressed to impress and a few weren't properly dressed at all. Come on people, it's November, and if it wasn't, you still need to wear more than an orange-stained tank top. Certainly gives People of Wal-Mart a run for it's money...if there was money at stake.
Number of CSI episodes watched: 2
Number of times characters said "semen": 38
Number of times I laughed at the word "semen": 37
Most terrifying thing I heard from an employee while sticking a patient: "Turtle's my favorite character. He just chills out and gets high. I'm so jealous of him!"
Number of times I've donated plasma this month: 1
Number of times I've compared it to anonymous prostitution: 3 (including this)
Likelihood that I'll spend the money on a book: 4:1
Likelihood that I'll not remember where I spent the money in a month: 1:1
On a scale of one to "Jaime Pressly," how trashy did I feel: Maybe a 6. So noticeably annoying but tolerable to some. Right around the "Prince of Persia" level, I suppose.
Times I considered the money insufficient compensation for my personal well-being: 100
Times I considered the money sufficient: 101
Time spent donating plasma: 90 minutes
Time driving through Lawrence: 3 or 4 hours. Seriously. People in Lawrence, KS drive like their emergency break is locked in. Maybe I got stuck in a parade that nobody was watching. Or funeral procession. Both would explain that giant Snoopy balloon.
Number of parking spots: 35-45.
Number of cars that can reasonably park there: 20. Every single spot is marked "for compact cars," but since most people donating plasma can't afford Smartcars or even Geo's, that's asking a bit much. Perhaps the line painter assumed in five years everybody will be driving mopeds or Segways. Bust.
Number of people there who I assume consider themselves "professional plasma donating person": How many people were there total? Nobody was dressed to impress and a few weren't properly dressed at all. Come on people, it's November, and if it wasn't, you still need to wear more than an orange-stained tank top. Certainly gives People of Wal-Mart a run for it's money...if there was money at stake.
Number of CSI episodes watched: 2
Number of times characters said "semen": 38
Number of times I laughed at the word "semen": 37
Most terrifying thing I heard from an employee while sticking a patient: "Turtle's my favorite character. He just chills out and gets high. I'm so jealous of him!"
Number of times I've donated plasma this month: 1
Number of times I've compared it to anonymous prostitution: 3 (including this)
Likelihood that I'll spend the money on a book: 4:1
Likelihood that I'll not remember where I spent the money in a month: 1:1
On a scale of one to "Jaime Pressly," how trashy did I feel: Maybe a 6. So noticeably annoying but tolerable to some. Right around the "Prince of Persia" level, I suppose.
Times I considered the money insufficient compensation for my personal well-being: 100
Times I considered the money sufficient: 101
Saturday, November 28, 2009
NFL Predictions: Week Twelve
So a Saints-Vikings NFC championship game would be more fun and more expected than anything the Superbowl can promise at this point. Those are probably the two best teams in the nation right now. Also, I'd like to say the NFL needs to change it's sudden-death overtime rules for one reason and one reason only: it's more fun to see both teams score more points.
Indianapolis at Houston (+2.5)
Not content to drive just other teams’ defensive coordinators furious, Peyton Manning has actually thrown down challenges to the Colts’ defense. The Ravens head coach Harbaugh made the exact same (wrong) fourth quarter call as Belichick two weeks ago and both underestimated the Colts defense after (arguably) over-estimating Manning. The mentality of “the undefeated Colts have to lose sometime” is comparable to Vegas gamblers chasing their losses in a vain effort to win them back. As a strike against the Colts though, Manning has been off his mark, statistically speaking, three weeks in a row and is due for a typically exceptional performance. Wait. Am I degenerate gambler? Whatever. Colts cover.
Kansas City at San Diego (-14.5)
The Chiefs aren’t 3 points better than the Steelers and the Chargers aren’t 29 points better than the Broncos, but here we are. San Diego smoked the Chiefs by 30 ka-blamos earlier this year, in KC. So, all else being even, the spread should be 32.5 in San Diego’s favor. But getting rid of Larry Johnson has worked better for the Chiefs than most wart removers and I’d say they are different team than three weeks ago. Now I expect a number things from this game: 1) Darren Sproles will drive defenders nuts 2) KSU fans, even if rooting for the Chiefs, will feel an unexplainable amount of pride when that happens and 3) for reasons I can't possibly explain, the Chiefs beat the spread.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (even)
Ben Roethlisberger is out. Charlie Batch is out. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in. No, Joe won’t be the starting quarterback for the Steelers this game but if he had an NFL career that consisted of only two passes, he’d have more experience than the actual starting QB: Dennis Dixon. The Ravens aren’t an easy defense for any quarterback (see: Manning’s performance). The Ravens are masters at losing close games but I’d say the best .500 team in the NFL. This is unusual, but the personalities on both defenses will probably be more than then their offensive counter-parts. This could be a game of James Farrior vs. Ray Lewis. Troy Polamula vs. Ed Reed. If the Ravens lose now, their season is over. Ravens win.
New England at New Orleans (-2.5)
I love what the Saints have become. Drew Brees replaced his arm with a t-shirt cannon, the defense scores almost 1 TD/game and Reggie Bush has settled into being the team acrobat. The Patriots will undoubtedly win their division but they are not the best team in the nation anymore--which I am thankful for. I have more fun watching football when other people are having more fun.
Patriots' Belichick after he won the goddamn Superbowl--has the man never even seen a smile?
Saint's Payton after he saved 15% or more on car insurance.
Indianapolis at Houston (+2.5)
Not content to drive just other teams’ defensive coordinators furious, Peyton Manning has actually thrown down challenges to the Colts’ defense. The Ravens head coach Harbaugh made the exact same (wrong) fourth quarter call as Belichick two weeks ago and both underestimated the Colts defense after (arguably) over-estimating Manning. The mentality of “the undefeated Colts have to lose sometime” is comparable to Vegas gamblers chasing their losses in a vain effort to win them back. As a strike against the Colts though, Manning has been off his mark, statistically speaking, three weeks in a row and is due for a typically exceptional performance. Wait. Am I degenerate gambler? Whatever. Colts cover.
Kansas City at San Diego (-14.5)
The Chiefs aren’t 3 points better than the Steelers and the Chargers aren’t 29 points better than the Broncos, but here we are. San Diego smoked the Chiefs by 30 ka-blamos earlier this year, in KC. So, all else being even, the spread should be 32.5 in San Diego’s favor. But getting rid of Larry Johnson has worked better for the Chiefs than most wart removers and I’d say they are different team than three weeks ago. Now I expect a number things from this game: 1) Darren Sproles will drive defenders nuts 2) KSU fans, even if rooting for the Chiefs, will feel an unexplainable amount of pride when that happens and 3) for reasons I can't possibly explain, the Chiefs beat the spread.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (even)
Ben Roethlisberger is out. Charlie Batch is out. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in. No, Joe won’t be the starting quarterback for the Steelers this game but if he had an NFL career that consisted of only two passes, he’d have more experience than the actual starting QB: Dennis Dixon. The Ravens aren’t an easy defense for any quarterback (see: Manning’s performance). The Ravens are masters at losing close games but I’d say the best .500 team in the NFL. This is unusual, but the personalities on both defenses will probably be more than then their offensive counter-parts. This could be a game of James Farrior vs. Ray Lewis. Troy Polamula vs. Ed Reed. If the Ravens lose now, their season is over. Ravens win.
New England at New Orleans (-2.5)
I love what the Saints have become. Drew Brees replaced his arm with a t-shirt cannon, the defense scores almost 1 TD/game and Reggie Bush has settled into being the team acrobat. The Patriots will undoubtedly win their division but they are not the best team in the nation anymore--which I am thankful for. I have more fun watching football when other people are having more fun.
Patriots' Belichick after he won the goddamn Superbowl--has the man never even seen a smile?
Saint's Payton after he saved 15% or more on car insurance.
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