February brings about more than just cold-weather frustration and an inexplicable day-shortage. As many Americans know, it also celebrates, or at least remembers, black history. But unlike many Americans know, the first week of February is the most damaging week of the year for romantic relationships.
According to a study conducted by MIT undergraduates, 3% of 20 to 29 year-olds were in a relationship on January 28, 2009. Within three weeks, both couples had broken up.
According to a more successful study, 54% of all couples dating in January break up by February 7th. Just as shocking, nearly all of these couples get back together in March or late February. Most relationship-ologists believe the warming weather of March brings people together, though non-February winter months don’t seem especially difficult on couples. Most shocking of all, nearly all of the relationships are ended by the guy.
When asked if Black History Month plays a role in February’s romantic troubles, Jon Washington said, “Definitely a factor; it’s the only factor for me.”
Washington went on to explain, that like a lot of guys (regardless of nationality or race), he wants to spend some time remembering and reflecting on proud African-American traditions and history; commemorating the things that really matter.
“You just loss scope sometimes,” said Washington, “and I just feel like I can’t give any relationship I’m in the energy and time it deserves.”
Washington admitted that in three or four weeks he may feel differently, but it’s hard to say. When asked if the early February timing had anything to do with Valentine’s Day, Washington looked around the room in disbelief, saying, “Valentine’s Day? Who said-what’s…Is that this month?”
Washington then deliberately knocked over a glass of water and ran out of the room.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Alienation in Politics
The most “technologically-shocking” movie of the year about aliens, with slightly above average reviews, stunned audiences again this week by being nominated for yet another award. Not just any award, mind you, but the highest, most honorable movie award. Among nine other Best Picture nominees, the Academy will have to decide if the best movie of the year was (you guessed it!): District 9.
Last spring I was excited for the release of what promised to be a smart, original and possibly realistic look at aliens landing on present-day Earth. This promise was broken. Like lots of disappointing movies, I could have just let this one go and drowned my sorrows in only the finest of malt liquors, but no. This movie lingered. It lingered on critic’ top 10 lists, it lingered in the Golden Globe race and now it is being thrown back in my face by the Academy that finds new ways to offend my insecure, cinematic arrogance every year.
While I would relish the opportunity to find 30 or 40 ways to blast the visual effects of the film that ranked no higher than the best the SciFi channel can offer, I will instead show why this nomination is more shocking on a cultural level than on any personal preferences. The Hollywood elite, usually charged with the worst of crimes (liberalism), has unknowingly nominated a film that lambastes Democrats, humanizes Republicans and foreshadowed the alienation of President Barack Obama.
Several years prior to the start of the story, an alien spacecraft entered Earth’s orbit and hovered in mid-air for weeks on end before humans learned that the alien race inside had succumbed to a disease and ran out of energy. Obviously the alien race had achieved space travel, though not completely mastered it. Similarly, Republicans several years ago gained considerable advantage in politics (controlling both chambers of Congress, the Supreme Court, and, by extension, the White House). However, like the alien race that had achieved so much, the Republicans were hurt by a hard-to-explain energy shortage—which led to car manufacturers bankrupting, a stock market slump and rise in unemployment (stranded aliens were also unemployed).
At this low point for the aliens/Republicans, humans/Democrats took over in a big way. The aliens, being a disenfranchised, leaderless minority in the film, are shoved into ghettos and makeshift housing while the human try (in vain) to figure out the technological power they suddenly obtained. Meanwhile, some of the less maniacal humans try to understand the alien creatures. The protagonist of the film, a nerd named Wikus, finds himself in the alien camp as a large part of his job—and, despite some smugness, tries to work with the alien species that doesn’t quite understand humans. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the film’s Barack Obama.
While trying to understand the alien culture, Wikus/Obama becomes infected by the alien technology/ideas and slightly deformed. When other humans/Democrats see Wikus is one-tenth alien, they all freak out. The questions then become, “is he going to turn completely alien?” and “How long do we have?” Similarly, Obama ideologically morphed, slightly but visibly. Of course in this world of two cultures there can be no in between, so Wikus is hunted by the humans for his new condition and hated by the aliens for what he had represented (the face of a pushy government) during their de facto incarceration.
Wikus eventually stumbles upon a grass roots uprising. Specifically, a small space ship previously buried beneath the grass rises up to the mother ship thanks to the bond of the only loving family in the whole movie...an alien family.
Unfortunately the movie ends with enough ambiguities to warrant a sequel but--like election cycles--I don’t really want to see it because it’s just going to be bigger, louder, more expensive and have more nonsensical inconsistencies. So bravo, Academy Awards, you gave the masses what they didn’t want (more nominees) because you didn’t have what we have always asked for: modesty.
Last spring I was excited for the release of what promised to be a smart, original and possibly realistic look at aliens landing on present-day Earth. This promise was broken. Like lots of disappointing movies, I could have just let this one go and drowned my sorrows in only the finest of malt liquors, but no. This movie lingered. It lingered on critic’ top 10 lists, it lingered in the Golden Globe race and now it is being thrown back in my face by the Academy that finds new ways to offend my insecure, cinematic arrogance every year.
While I would relish the opportunity to find 30 or 40 ways to blast the visual effects of the film that ranked no higher than the best the SciFi channel can offer, I will instead show why this nomination is more shocking on a cultural level than on any personal preferences. The Hollywood elite, usually charged with the worst of crimes (liberalism), has unknowingly nominated a film that lambastes Democrats, humanizes Republicans and foreshadowed the alienation of President Barack Obama.
Several years prior to the start of the story, an alien spacecraft entered Earth’s orbit and hovered in mid-air for weeks on end before humans learned that the alien race inside had succumbed to a disease and ran out of energy. Obviously the alien race had achieved space travel, though not completely mastered it. Similarly, Republicans several years ago gained considerable advantage in politics (controlling both chambers of Congress, the Supreme Court, and, by extension, the White House). However, like the alien race that had achieved so much, the Republicans were hurt by a hard-to-explain energy shortage—which led to car manufacturers bankrupting, a stock market slump and rise in unemployment (stranded aliens were also unemployed).
At this low point for the aliens/Republicans, humans/Democrats took over in a big way. The aliens, being a disenfranchised, leaderless minority in the film, are shoved into ghettos and makeshift housing while the human try (in vain) to figure out the technological power they suddenly obtained. Meanwhile, some of the less maniacal humans try to understand the alien creatures. The protagonist of the film, a nerd named Wikus, finds himself in the alien camp as a large part of his job—and, despite some smugness, tries to work with the alien species that doesn’t quite understand humans. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the film’s Barack Obama.
While trying to understand the alien culture, Wikus/Obama becomes infected by the alien technology/ideas and slightly deformed. When other humans/Democrats see Wikus is one-tenth alien, they all freak out. The questions then become, “is he going to turn completely alien?” and “How long do we have?” Similarly, Obama ideologically morphed, slightly but visibly. Of course in this world of two cultures there can be no in between, so Wikus is hunted by the humans for his new condition and hated by the aliens for what he had represented (the face of a pushy government) during their de facto incarceration.
Wikus eventually stumbles upon a grass roots uprising. Specifically, a small space ship previously buried beneath the grass rises up to the mother ship thanks to the bond of the only loving family in the whole movie...an alien family.
Unfortunately the movie ends with enough ambiguities to warrant a sequel but--like election cycles--I don’t really want to see it because it’s just going to be bigger, louder, more expensive and have more nonsensical inconsistencies. So bravo, Academy Awards, you gave the masses what they didn’t want (more nominees) because you didn’t have what we have always asked for: modesty.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Echelons of Society
"Nobody was challenging this guy. He had an opinion that was at the very least disagreeable but everybody in class was afraid of confrontation."
"You're complaining that a fight didn't break out in your class?"
"Not a fight, just a discussion that didn't feel like a game of Simon Sez with the teacher or the one student who speaks out just a little too much."
"So what was he actually saying?"
"He was criticizing writers for being too self-important."
"So?"
"So why is that a problem? I concede that some writers are self-important, but I wanted somebody to jump after him and say, 'what's wrong with being important?' Maybe I want writers to take their writing seriously. There aren't any self-deprecating jokes in the Declaration of Independence."
"If you wanted somebody to say this, why didn't you?"
"I did."
"So what's the problem?"
"I guess I put a little edge on it or something because the teacher kept me after class to see if I was angry."
"Were you?"
"No. I honestly wasn't. I just wanted to further intellectual debate."
"That sounds self-important."
"Self-important nothing! I'm the Robin Hood of education."
"How are you Robin Hood?"
"I defend ideas."
"What did Robin Hood defend?"
"I don't know, people. Whatever, bad example. The other problem that grows from this is that I probably scared away any potential friends I could have made in that class."
"Controversy will keep you pretty lonely."
"But I would have been untrue to myself if I let that guy blast his opinion to the entire class without challenge. It's a question of morals."
"Ever seen Grease?"
"The movie?"
"No, our neighbor, yes, the movie. The moral of that story is that you should change yourself so John Travolta will like you."
"Okay."
"But that's a stupid movie. If you hadn't have said anything in that class, there is no promise you would have made a friend. But you would be here, complaining that you feel bad about not speaking your mind in a class that was asking you to speak your mind. Now stop eating Pop-tarts on my bed and let me go to sleep, it's three in the morning!"
"You're complaining that a fight didn't break out in your class?"
"Not a fight, just a discussion that didn't feel like a game of Simon Sez with the teacher or the one student who speaks out just a little too much."
"So what was he actually saying?"
"He was criticizing writers for being too self-important."
"So?"
"So why is that a problem? I concede that some writers are self-important, but I wanted somebody to jump after him and say, 'what's wrong with being important?' Maybe I want writers to take their writing seriously. There aren't any self-deprecating jokes in the Declaration of Independence."
"If you wanted somebody to say this, why didn't you?"
"I did."
"So what's the problem?"
"I guess I put a little edge on it or something because the teacher kept me after class to see if I was angry."
"Were you?"
"No. I honestly wasn't. I just wanted to further intellectual debate."
"That sounds self-important."
"Self-important nothing! I'm the Robin Hood of education."
"How are you Robin Hood?"
"I defend ideas."
"What did Robin Hood defend?"
"I don't know, people. Whatever, bad example. The other problem that grows from this is that I probably scared away any potential friends I could have made in that class."
"Controversy will keep you pretty lonely."
"But I would have been untrue to myself if I let that guy blast his opinion to the entire class without challenge. It's a question of morals."
"Ever seen Grease?"
"The movie?"
"No, our neighbor, yes, the movie. The moral of that story is that you should change yourself so John Travolta will like you."
"Okay."
"But that's a stupid movie. If you hadn't have said anything in that class, there is no promise you would have made a friend. But you would be here, complaining that you feel bad about not speaking your mind in a class that was asking you to speak your mind. Now stop eating Pop-tarts on my bed and let me go to sleep, it's three in the morning!"
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Frodo: The True Story of Our Trip to Mordor--Part Three: I Feel Like Death
We took a momentary break between the second and third movies but more than give us time to use the restroom, it gave us time to reflect on what we've done and what lays before us. No one has left or even mentioned that possibility in the last six years--I mean 'hours'.
4:18am - We have started The Return of the King.
4:19am - I am beginning to realize that these movies will claim my life.
4:53am - I feel sick, undoubtedly too much drink and food. Way too much food. I feel like I ate nine dollars worth of Taco Bell--that's how much food I think I ate! Sweet Jesus.
5:16am - We've all become more quiet, only occasionally saying something to the film or each other. For a number of reasons though I have not updated this log as much as the first...8 hours?
5:23am - The Beacon of Gondor is lit!
5:40am - Matt broke out another package of Hawaiian bread. Also, my eyes hurt.
6:10am - "You will suffer me!" So weary. We all need a battle (and soon) to lift our spirits.
6:26am - We have just put in the sixth, and last, disc. Everyone has to repeat what they just said because no one can talk or hear at a normal level.
6:50am - Rohan's cavalry has shown up and I find life worth living again.
7:25am - We are marching onto Mordor and everyone is pumped. The morning light is faintly coming in through the window. This a world of my own.
7:40am - Somehow we have all gotten distracted talking about when Halle Berry was topless in Swordfish. Man, that was awesome.
7:45am - People here are getting violent towards Frodo. He is quite unpopular right now; probably because if Sam had been given the ring the trilogy would have been 85 minutes long.
8:18am - It's over. All of it. Over. I want to die...and post this journal on my blog, but I think I need a week of recovery. And on a final note, I want to mention how bullshit it is that Frodo clearly forget Legolas's name when reuniting with the hobbits, Gandolf, Gimli and Aragorn.
I'm going to bed.
4:18am - We have started The Return of the King.
4:19am - I am beginning to realize that these movies will claim my life.
4:53am - I feel sick, undoubtedly too much drink and food. Way too much food. I feel like I ate nine dollars worth of Taco Bell--that's how much food I think I ate! Sweet Jesus.
5:16am - We've all become more quiet, only occasionally saying something to the film or each other. For a number of reasons though I have not updated this log as much as the first...8 hours?
5:23am - The Beacon of Gondor is lit!
5:40am - Matt broke out another package of Hawaiian bread. Also, my eyes hurt.
6:10am - "You will suffer me!" So weary. We all need a battle (and soon) to lift our spirits.
6:26am - We have just put in the sixth, and last, disc. Everyone has to repeat what they just said because no one can talk or hear at a normal level.
6:50am - Rohan's cavalry has shown up and I find life worth living again.
7:25am - We are marching onto Mordor and everyone is pumped. The morning light is faintly coming in through the window. This a world of my own.
7:40am - Somehow we have all gotten distracted talking about when Halle Berry was topless in Swordfish. Man, that was awesome.
7:45am - People here are getting violent towards Frodo. He is quite unpopular right now; probably because if Sam had been given the ring the trilogy would have been 85 minutes long.
8:18am - It's over. All of it. Over. I want to die...and post this journal on my blog, but I think I need a week of recovery. And on a final note, I want to mention how bullshit it is that Frodo clearly forget Legolas's name when reuniting with the hobbits, Gandolf, Gimli and Aragorn.
I'm going to bed.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Frodo: The True Story of Our Trip to Mordor--Part Two: What Have We Done?
The first movie was finished but two others were not. Without a second hesitation, we put in the third of six discs. Remembering that "Fellowship" is my favorite of the three, I wondered if we should have just watched the movies in reverse--then characters could join Frodo and Sam during their trip from Mordor to the Shire. Also, I began to regret getting up at 9am earlier that day.
12:20am - Our own fellowship is arguing over the movie DISTRICT 9. Tempers are flaring because it was a stupid movie. I pray that Gandolf's impeding fight with the Belrog will re-unify us.
12:40am - "...the union of the Two Towers." Name of the movie! Take a drink.
1:20am - Shrimp and cocktail sauce has been added to the table of food directly in front of me.
1:33am - I feel tired for the first time. This is partially because I haven't slept in some 17 hours; partially because all the "Worm Tongue" scenes in this movie are absolute death.
1:43am - The second movie doesn't have the direness (or fun moments) of the first movie.
2:01am - Max is quiet. Matt is missing (kitchen, maybe?). R.C. and myself are lively again. Also, Smigel is arguing with Gollum.
2:08am - First disc of Two Towers is over. People are noticeably weary and verbal communication has failed us a couple of times.
2:40am - Matt made delicious stew. Real nice. Potatoes and...conies?
3:00am - Jeht is drifting in and out, verbally at least. Others are becoming more aggressive in their opinions, almost always including the phrase "in the books..."
3:20am - It's hard to stay awake when the characters themselves are falling asleep.
4:00am - Sam Wise Ass is giving his speech about stories and I think its emotionally affecting the audience more than usual.
4:12am - The Two Towers are over. The Two Towers is over? Whatever. I feel (overly?) critical of that last scene with Smigel setting up the third movie. It's more forced and self-conscious than the first movie's ending. I mean, how can you just watch the second movie? No beginning, no ending. Oh, but there's more shrimp left!
12:20am - Our own fellowship is arguing over the movie DISTRICT 9. Tempers are flaring because it was a stupid movie. I pray that Gandolf's impeding fight with the Belrog will re-unify us.
12:40am - "...the union of the Two Towers." Name of the movie! Take a drink.
1:20am - Shrimp and cocktail sauce has been added to the table of food directly in front of me.
1:33am - I feel tired for the first time. This is partially because I haven't slept in some 17 hours; partially because all the "Worm Tongue" scenes in this movie are absolute death.
1:43am - The second movie doesn't have the direness (or fun moments) of the first movie.
2:01am - Max is quiet. Matt is missing (kitchen, maybe?). R.C. and myself are lively again. Also, Smigel is arguing with Gollum.
2:08am - First disc of Two Towers is over. People are noticeably weary and verbal communication has failed us a couple of times.
2:40am - Matt made delicious stew. Real nice. Potatoes and...conies?
3:00am - Jeht is drifting in and out, verbally at least. Others are becoming more aggressive in their opinions, almost always including the phrase "in the books..."
3:20am - It's hard to stay awake when the characters themselves are falling asleep.
4:00am - Sam Wise Ass is giving his speech about stories and I think its emotionally affecting the audience more than usual.
4:12am - The Two Towers are over. The Two Towers is over? Whatever. I feel (overly?) critical of that last scene with Smigel setting up the third movie. It's more forced and self-conscious than the first movie's ending. I mean, how can you just watch the second movie? No beginning, no ending. Oh, but there's more shrimp left!
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